After skidding on the runway of life for the last two weeks. I finally was able to pick myself up. About that time a friend of mine share this video with me. https://youtu.be/yFltqHCTTVo I found it very insightful. While not a big TV watcher, I’ve never actually seen the show, but what he said was very true. My friend asked me when do I feel alive?. I said when I have my camera in my hand, it feels like my best friend, once I turn on the studio lights my life feels beyond exciting. My gift is photographing people and a dog’s. I never realized how important it was to do this, not just from the technical aspect, but the emotional connection. Several of my clients dogs have crossed the Rainbow. I truly feel their grief. The one gift I can give them is the photos from their session. The bond between people and their pets is truly unique, I think it’s a love that transcends relationships.
A complete crash and burn week. I wish I could say it was enjoyable, but that would be not be true.
I’m cleaning my studio, I cannot tell you how good I feel about doing it. Not just clean, but Micro clean. The do it now, Process has filled my mind and I see a tremendous difference in my though
process. For from perfect, for from arriving, but a new awareness. I’m able to see negative patterns much quicker than before. I cannot tell you the joy I feel about doing this cleaning. And its not like I don’t do this several times a year. But this is very different.
The illusion of change, but without the time investment. The Photoshop reality. As a Professional Photographer, I meet people all the time that make the statement “Photoshop it out” it can be anything from a bad background to adjustments in body shape it can be done in Photoshop.
It is the doctor please fix me after 30 years of neglect to my body. I’ve become fascinated with the lack of reality that most people living including myself. The river of dreams, That is sold to us daily of the next thing will make you happy, the next thing will bring you success, the next thing will make you popular, the next thing will make you likable to your family, they will be drawn to you, get rich quick, people will want to hear what you have to say, and the list goes on and on. I’m finding the reality of not listening to the news has been one of the best things for me in a long time. My mind is able to think again and feel.
But if you do need to be Photoshop, yes I can do it. And the good news you’ll never know what even took place. I deal with several clients there just graduating from high school and see the magazines and tell me they want to look like this person or that person, I tell them they really don’t exist you’re just pixels in somebodies imagination.
After being sick with bronchitis for over a week, and having to deal with a plethora of emotions, I realize that it is going to be OK. My ability to have imagination and hope again is more important then the current situation that I find the self in. I had a client tell me that the photos I took of her and her dog a few weeks ago brought tears to her eyes when she got the prints. I was truly flabbergasted at that statement, I always see the critical in my work and never the beauty. It is amazing how much glare we have in our line of sight. 90% self-induced.
In this endless discovery, a question was posed to me “why did you get in photography in the first place. A very simple question, one that should have a super easy answer, or at least is very easily explained. I found myself completely at odds with this. I love the aspect of creating eternal memories. That was one component of it, I enjoy the interaction most times with my clients. This was definitely another component. It was something deeper when I pick up an old photo especially people or dogs who are no longer living, I feel is very strange sense of loss in me and then for that person. The reality that time marches on and waits for no one, I think it’s what scares the absolute hell out of me. With everyone having camera phone everyone becomes a photographer, but the deception that darkness always prevails against the light is what draws me to create life changing moments. I have discovered that Photography it’s not about the picture, as much as it is about the need to create an exit ramp for people to look back and see moments that truly anchor to their soul.
This photo of my wife holding our beloved dog the K girl truly is priceless. You can’t recreate the moment, nor can you manifested in your mind, but this is a visual reminder.
This journey is taking me closer to the living God through Jesus Christ. The reality I’m trying not to be angry, give opinions, while I had good days and I had some very bad days of showing me the complete fala bility of me being in charge. Bible says Jesus did not sin, I really been thinking about that after I go about a day or two days really great day Three Days but fall back into the same lie it’s been manifested throughout the ages you can be just like God. Well I believe change it’s definitely possible and that new behaviors can manifest, which I do see happening in myself. My reverence and my love Christ is increased dramatically, being the observer in my life and seeing my fella bility, of though, actions and deeds. The concept that all roads lead to the same location, makes about as much sense as getting on interstate 10 when you live in Houston to go to Dallas will get you there.